February 2012 – Personal Abridgements: Living Well Together

My son is about 5 and a half years old. The last six months he’s been waking up with bad dreams. Each of my children seemed to have this problem at one time or another.

To help my daughter with it, I made up Mary Poppins Pockets.

I explained how dreams came from our imagination and the next time she was dreaming, she could reach into her pocket and pull out a . . .

I had her tell me what it was that was scaring her in her dreams.

A big bug? What do you want to pull out of your pocket? A huge can of bug spray? Daddy’s shoe? A huge fly swatter?

We had a lot of fun imagining the weapons she would bring out to knock out the scariest terrors dreams can dream up.

They are called “Mary Poppins” pockets

Image via Wikipedia

because just like the Disney movie Mary Poppins who has a magical bag with no bottom, they can imagine pulling really big things as many as they need right out of their pockets with an endless supply.

It gives them a way to share all the scary things and a fun way for me to help them prepare for battle. The pockets were quite successful at helping her sleep through the night, so I tried it with my son.

So far, since I taught him about his pockets, he’s been sleeping well again.

Image via Wikipedia

I was just talking to a friend of mine today.

She went through a divorce, had to start over with nothing, and found herself trying to get to know herself all over again.

Finding myself has been a personal passion partly because meeting the needs around me makes me sort of cameleon-like. What is really me? What is just responding to circumstances? I like to bring a smile to others if I can. In fact, that is why I’m writing this. In case I can brighten your day or give you hope if you are in the same situation.

I found myself particularly lost when my youngest went to kindergarten. The years of being Mom left just DarEll for several hours per day and I wasn’t sure who that was anymore. I was afraid I hadn’t seen her for a long, long time.

Two books especially helped me on my way: One was Becoming Real by Gail Saltz and the other was The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron.

They each give ideas and instructions on how to find your own voice and be more true to yourself.

Most of all, it takes a little faith that we can know what is best for ourselves, that we can trust ourselves, and that we are not responsible for everyone else’s happiness.

I was afraid that I’d hurt people by letting myself be me. I was very restrictive to myself and what I wanted to do. Some of it had been necessary when my children were small, really were dependent on me and funds were tight. But, it wasn’t true now.

I had to give myself permission to buy something just for me. Do something just because I enjoyed it. It was a suprisingly difficult adjustment. But, I’m proud to say that I am very much better at caring for myself and I hope you will find the strength to give yourself permission to be you, too.

It is okay to make mistakes while we find our way. If you feel that everything in your life that ever happens is all your fault, or everyone thinks it is, you may have codependency going on. Sometimes I liked to believe I had that much power because then I could also have the power to change and fix things. But, I never will have the power to make other people happy. That is their choice. I have to let that dream go.

You are worth finding. There is only one person like you in the whole world. We need each snow-flake.

Personal Abridgements: Living Well Together

Balancing the pursuit of Health, Harmony, and Excellence

Month: February 2012

A cure for bad dreams: Mary Poppins Pockets

Identity Crisis?