“If you rest, you rust.”–Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr

“If you rest, you rust.”–Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr

Productivity and efficiency are both such attractive topics to me. I love the idea that work can always be done better. And, I know people who are both more productive and more efficient than I am, proving it can be done.

In my notebook I have anonymous quotes that caught my eye:

“He had no wasted motion.”

“Things happened coming and going.”

In many ways I have been afraid of rest (and rust). I don’t like to waste time. Rest often seems like a waste and can look very lazy to others as well.

However, I have found in practice that always trying to do things as fast as possible is very stressful for me. I prefer to relax and enjoy what I am doing rather than race against time or a schedule. My temperament is high strung and anxious. Doing things quickly, under stress, is actually less productive for me.

For example, I stress to pack the family for the trip to Disney, we rush out the door to leave at the appointed time, and one hour into the journey I remember the tickets are home.

When overly stressed I forget things, lose or misplace important items, and sometimes lose my patience when a more paced procedure would actually save me time.

I now think that rest is important for all people. We need to punctuate times of high stress and activity with low stress and rest periods. But, especially if you are high strung like I am, the counterintuitive slow method might actually work better for you.

The navy seals have a saying that “slow is smooth, and smooth is fast.” This is a different way to look at efficiency.

But, how do you go slowly and still do things fast? I am not sure I have the answer to that question. Many tasks seem to take as much time as you give them. And, I have never been good at estimating time.

Ways that do work for me:

I set my own deadlines early with a couple of days grace period in case I get behind or life surprises me. That extra planned cushion relieves stress and allows me to focus on a task without the distraction of worry.

I plan in larger chunks of time with fewer transitions. I have never done well with a minute by minute schedule. It makes me feel like a robot with no freedom, and if anyone even speaks to me it ends up making me late like dominos all throughout the day. I want to talk to people. I want to be a person who has time for other people. I feel the world is harsh enough without all of us too busy to even be human to each other. I don’t feel like myself when a routine task seems to be more important than a precious person. This is a personal value betrayal. So, I have to have grace time within my life if at all possible.

There is an old latin phrase, “festina lente” which means to hurry slowly. I like that.

I like being the hare not the tortoise. So I need to pace my pulses and pauses in such a way that I’m not too active or too slow for too long. Like setting the wavelength of a beautiful wave, I think each pattern might be individual. My husband, for example, likes a steady pace (and he usually will beat me).

So, I’m giving myself permission to not only rest, but trust myself that I will get up and go. I do. I enjoy working hard and making a difference every day. I am thankful for that motivation.

I just can’t run off so fast that my rest is a collapse. Instead, I am going to practice hurrying slowly.

Namaste,

DarEll S. Hoskisson

8/29/22

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Linking Generations–Get or give advice

I just found out about a great opportunity to get or give free advice.

Seniors can volunteer at their own convenience.

Just like asking Google, you can ask a real person in real time for their advice.

I’m so excited about this.  I don’t want a whole generation of wisdom to be lost.

The problem of technology becomes a vehicle for a solution.  Interestingly enough, this whole set up was made possible by a generous donation from Google.

Elder Wisdom Circle–Get or Volunteer to Give Advice

 

A mother’s must see movie

Mom’s Night Out
is definitely a movie mothers with small children, especially stay at home moms, can relate to. It was so funny I was crying. It is not the kind of movie that interests the children, all but my nine year old left the room. It is also not for people who would be offended by Christian values since it appears to be a Christian film. I super, super loved it. It is a very good reminder of how and why we mothers shouldn’t and can’t lose perspective or our minds. 🙂 It is very encouraging. Happy Mothering! I’d love to buy a copy for all my sisters.

How can I study quicker and learn more permanently? How can I get my child to remember the times tables?

I recently discovered anki, it is essentially a flash card program but much better. It has decks of cards already pre-loaded so you can start your child off on times tables right away. Or make your own specialized cards/decks.

It is set up so that you can use it on your phone or mobile device.

It is free.

It syncs both directions so you can practice on your computer, phone, tablet whatever.

You can make your own flashcards with voice/pronunciation and pictures also if you like.

It asks you both directions so that you not only practice knowing what something means, but also recalling it.

SRS stands for spaced Repetition System. It is scientifically set up to ask you and re ask you the questions or meanings at longer and longer intervals just before you might forget– helping you get the info into your long-term memory. You can do this yourself using the game schedule in the book cited below, or the computer does it for you with the help of the anki website.

An EXCELLENT help for language learning and anything you learn worth remembering permanently. There are tutorials on youtube.

The website is Ankisrs.net

It is described in detail in the book Fluent Forever by Gabriel Wyner

My son is already doing much better at his times tables in just a few minutes a day and it is a fun game.
I’m being able to use the Sanskrit yoga terms with more confidence.
This is just the system I was looking for to keep from wasting time and studying with confidence! Good luck to you.

How can I get my child to be more active?

If you want to encourage your child to exercise more or if you have an active one who is always in trouble and you want to redirect,

You could try zamzee.

Zamzee.com has a small electronic device they sell for around 30$ that tracks the child’s activity and rewards them with points.

The point is to free some couches of all the potatoes! But, it could also help those who are already active find a positive thing to do with all their energy.

We are trying it out. So far we have enjoyed it.

How can I write a book?

A friend told me about NaNoWriMo, an online non-profit that helps you set a goal and gives you a deadline, a way to chart your progress, pep talks from other writers and a certificate when you complete your rough draft with a goal of 50,000 words.

So, I tried it. It was a lot of fun to know that you are in the company of a lot of other crazy people all over the country trying to type yourself into oblivion, or get that novel out.

I type tested myself and I could meet the daily goal of 2,000 words per day in less than 2 hours, maybe even 1 if I knew exactly what to say and could continuously just say it.

The first week went okay. The second week I hit several bouts of writer’s block and it seemed like every night I was going to bed with a question I couldn’t answer that would keep the ball from rolling.

Finally I was getting so behind on my count I made myself stay in my chair and type for an entire day. I didn’t catch up, in fact, I made less progress than I hoped, but I was moving forward again.

I learned to keep pushing through writer’s block and not let it stop me.

By the end of the second week I was getting near the midpoint, 25,000 words.

Quite a fun thing to get to half way through the book, but half my story wasn’t out!

I kept going and the next week I could smell the end. When I could smell the end I lost all balance. Who needs to shower, exercise, or cook meals? Well, at least it was only 3 days and I did fit in that shower–finally but the last 3 days that is all I wanted to do every second I had–mostly ’cause I didn’t want to be doing it again next week.

So, here I am in the fourth week–DONE! and a Winner with a certificate from NaNoWriMo to prove it. I know I can write a novel length in 3 weeks–something of a miracle.

And, I have confidence that if you want to and it is the right time for you, you can do it, too.
November turned out to be a good month for me because the calendar actually was calmer than usual.

I think the hardest thing for me was giving myself permission to be that lazy (not so busy helping others) while I accomplished it. I was worried I’d ignore my children (but my youngest is 8, so I figured, I could give it a try).

As it turned out, my family was fairly supportive, I could usually do it when they didn’t notice or care (minus those last 3 days) and maybe because it was fiction, I didn’t take it too seriously and was able to keep balance and perspective most of the time.

So, if you want to write a book, I highly recommend it. Happy Writing…
https://nanowrimo.org

Griefwork resource: Notes from How to be an Adult by David Richo

A Mourning Resource: How grief is part of growing up

Personal Abridgements

I am really enjoying this book.

In the first section, he points out how every hero story starts out with a disaster of some kind– a loss, rejection, mistake, illness, disaster or even attack.

This first part points out how we all have things we needed in the past that we didn’t get–even though it is not necessarily anyone’s fault but of course it could be. These we carry around with us now–as a wound or an unexplainable longing, big feelings, beliefs or attitudes and these affect us now.

So, the first part, surprising to me, is learning how to mourn. It is grief work. Because I recently lost my Dad, I’m more familiar with grief and interested in grief than before. But, accepting what we don’t want is a loss–it is grief. Accepting anything in the past we did not like–is grief. If we can work through it instead…

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Assertiveness Skills from How to be an Adult by David Richo

Assertiveness resource: avoiding aggression and passive victimization

Personal Abridgements

Several years ago I noticed that so often we can turn into a victim/martyr vs the bully/needy one battle. This dog eat dog world, I’ve never bought into—consciously, but often I play the role. I read another book that described 3 roles–the victim, the bully, and the hero. But, what if we didn’t play those games?

I realized that another option had to be the right one. What would that look like– to not be the victim, the bully or even the hero? (Of course with only those 3 options, who wouldn’t want to be the hero?)

I wrote it this way:
Plan A–Ate (I am the winner/bully)
Plan B–Bait (I am the victim/martyr)

What could be plan C?
I wrote Charity

I have been personally trying to discover my way out of all those other roles. How can we just be free and let others be free as well?

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The big picture: 72 hr kits in 6 time periods (months, weeks, or days)

A Summary for those that like to see it all in one shot:

1.  (March) Plan, Gather information, 1 gallon of water per person

2. (April)  Water (3 gal/person), Communication plans, means, and important documents

3.  (May) Food and prescriptions including glasses, baby items, needed eating equipment

4.  (June) Clothing and Hygiene items: include Emergency blankets, ponchos, shoes, etc. in waterproof bags or containers

5.  (July) Shelter and First AId:  Protection from rain, sun, bugs, heat and cold.  Extra bandaging for disaster type injuries.

6.  (Aug)  Equipment, Light, and Power sources:  whistle, flashlight, glowsticks, small shovel, rope, can opener, hammer, batteries, etc.