“If you rest, you rust.”–Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr

“If you rest, you rust.”–Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr

Productivity and efficiency are both such attractive topics to me. I love the idea that work can always be done better. And, I know people who are both more productive and more efficient than I am, proving it can be done.

In my notebook I have anonymous quotes that caught my eye:

“He had no wasted motion.”

“Things happened coming and going.”

In many ways I have been afraid of rest (and rust). I don’t like to waste time. Rest often seems like a waste and can look very lazy to others as well.

However, I have found in practice that always trying to do things as fast as possible is very stressful for me. I prefer to relax and enjoy what I am doing rather than race against time or a schedule. My temperament is high strung and anxious. Doing things quickly, under stress, is actually less productive for me.

For example, I stress to pack the family for the trip to Disney, we rush out the door to leave at the appointed time, and one hour into the journey I remember the tickets are home.

When overly stressed I forget things, lose or misplace important items, and sometimes lose my patience when a more paced procedure would actually save me time.

I now think that rest is important for all people. We need to punctuate times of high stress and activity with low stress and rest periods. But, especially if you are high strung like I am, the counterintuitive slow method might actually work better for you.

The navy seals have a saying that “slow is smooth, and smooth is fast.” This is a different way to look at efficiency.

But, how do you go slowly and still do things fast? I am not sure I have the answer to that question. Many tasks seem to take as much time as you give them. And, I have never been good at estimating time.

Ways that do work for me:

I set my own deadlines early with a couple of days grace period in case I get behind or life surprises me. That extra planned cushion relieves stress and allows me to focus on a task without the distraction of worry.

I plan in larger chunks of time with fewer transitions. I have never done well with a minute by minute schedule. It makes me feel like a robot with no freedom, and if anyone even speaks to me it ends up making me late like dominos all throughout the day. I want to talk to people. I want to be a person who has time for other people. I feel the world is harsh enough without all of us too busy to even be human to each other. I don’t feel like myself when a routine task seems to be more important than a precious person. This is a personal value betrayal. So, I have to have grace time within my life if at all possible.

There is an old latin phrase, “festina lente” which means to hurry slowly. I like that.

I like being the hare not the tortoise. So I need to pace my pulses and pauses in such a way that I’m not too active or too slow for too long. Like setting the wavelength of a beautiful wave, I think each pattern might be individual. My husband, for example, likes a steady pace (and he usually will beat me).

So, I’m giving myself permission to not only rest, but trust myself that I will get up and go. I do. I enjoy working hard and making a difference every day. I am thankful for that motivation.

I just can’t run off so fast that my rest is a collapse. Instead, I am going to practice hurrying slowly.

Namaste,

DarEll S. Hoskisson

8/29/22

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Give and Take by Adam Grant

In this book, the author divides people into three types: givers, matchers and takers. Givers are those who believe in doing things for common good, matchers only give if they get and takers just&#…

Source: Give and Take by Adam Grant

I have learned this for myself in my own life. I very much appreciate this article. Couldn’t say it better myself. Thanks for sharing.

The Enemy

Hurt.

I carry the burning scars

with me.

I face them

in the mirror

every day.

The memory

inflames me

with justifiable

anger.

 

Hurt.

I will never forget

or let you in

no matter how long

you knock.

I can’t listen.

It doesn’t matter.

There is no

excuse.

 

Agony.

The betrayal.

You should have been

my friend!

 

Agony.

You might have been

if only

I had been

yours.

–DarEll S. Hoskisson 1/29/16

**I don’t believe this is always true.  There are truly enemies we need to protect ourselves and our families from, acts of true barbarism that can’t be allowed to be repeated.

But, in general, who the aggressor is in any frictional or one-sided relationship is less clear.

Eliminate maternal/neonatal tetanus with Kiwanis and Unicef

I was just walking out of Sam’s club when someone asked me if I’d like to save a baby’s life.  Well, of course I would. 

They gave me information about the “Eliminate Project”.  Preventing MNT, a completely preventable disease that kills 60,000 mothers and babies a year.

For more information, you can check out their website at http://floridakeyclub.org/the-eliminate-project/

It only costs $1.80 to vaccinate one mother and her future babies. http://floridakeyclub.org/online-donations/

How can I study quicker and learn more permanently? How can I get my child to remember the times tables?

I recently discovered anki, it is essentially a flash card program but much better. It has decks of cards already pre-loaded so you can start your child off on times tables right away. Or make your own specialized cards/decks.

It is set up so that you can use it on your phone or mobile device.

It is free.

It syncs both directions so you can practice on your computer, phone, tablet whatever.

You can make your own flashcards with voice/pronunciation and pictures also if you like.

It asks you both directions so that you not only practice knowing what something means, but also recalling it.

SRS stands for spaced Repetition System. It is scientifically set up to ask you and re ask you the questions or meanings at longer and longer intervals just before you might forget– helping you get the info into your long-term memory. You can do this yourself using the game schedule in the book cited below, or the computer does it for you with the help of the anki website.

An EXCELLENT help for language learning and anything you learn worth remembering permanently. There are tutorials on youtube.

The website is Ankisrs.net

It is described in detail in the book Fluent Forever by Gabriel Wyner

My son is already doing much better at his times tables in just a few minutes a day and it is a fun game.
I’m being able to use the Sanskrit yoga terms with more confidence.
This is just the system I was looking for to keep from wasting time and studying with confidence! Good luck to you.

How can I discover my best use or where I have an “edge”?

Check out the work of Marcus Buckingham. http://standout.tmbc.com He writes fantastic books and they have tests that help you learn a lot about yourself. His mission is to help you reach your potential. Strengthsfinder helps you know your strengths so you can capitalize on them. StandOut takes what you would do in situations and uses that information to help you know how to apply your strengths to best advantage. They are both fabulous if you are seeking either self-knowledge or keys to best directing yourself. I highly recommend this author. Also, not a bad idea for people trying to decide what to major in or what career to pursue.

Drowning in Housework

My back to the ocean,

photo courtesy Carrie Keohane

photo courtesy Carrie Keohane

I didn’t see them coming.

I just kept getting knocked off my feet

and spun upside down in a salty somersault.

The flat spots grew piles,

The floor oozed grit,

The dishes dried on dirty

and all my efforts were always spent

just trying to get my head back in the air

and keep it up, treading water.

In a herculean effort I would jump

to clean with all my might to stay ahead of the next wave.

It would be beautiful

for a glorious moment,

but by the next day, whump.

Back to normal.

Floors sucking on the dirty clothes,

dust bunnies propagating,

hungry children.

I need a shower.

My head down, I’m drowning again

with my feet sprawling overhead.

I knew I couldn’t keep this up.

Desperate, I felt almost dead.

I was smothered in the life

ironically chosen by myself.

It kept pushing me under

over and over again.

I couldn’t catch the pattern.

I didn’t know about the tide.

My great expectations and reality

would constantly collide.

I had to turn and face the waves.

I had to run out to meet them as they’d come.

I had to plan for the surprises, too.

I simply had to find the sun.

By preparing and maintaining,

though I could not stop the tide,

my life got routinely easier than

going along for that ride.

© 2013 DarEll S. Hoskisson

Do Not Memorialize Me

When I die,
especially if I die a tragic or violent death,
do not memorialize me.

Do not give permanence to the pain.
Do not give the enemy fame.
Do not spend a dime on me
past what I need.
Do not pass on the painful story
to infect a new generation with worry.
Just let the deed die with me,
and instead, don’t live dead.

If you really want to honor me,
dare to dream and move ahead.
Explore, create, and find a way
to really live up to your best self.

And then, if that is not enough,
I know just what I would ask:
Love someone a little more.
Include someone who feels left out.
Share yourself to relieve the suffering or poor.
To honor me,
just help one more.

© 2012 DarEll S. Hoskisson

Written 9/11/12

Posted today as my thoughts are directed toward the memorial service of the police officer recently gunned down by the bombing suspects.

I wrote this last year in response to the controversial cost of the proposed memorial site of 9/11.  I mean absolutely no disrespect to those who feel that monuments are worth the costs involved.  I also mean no disrespect to anyone violently killed or otherwise who has died.  Of course people need to heal however is best for them.

Also, I understand the purpose of educating people to prevent future disasters.  My children are exposed for an entire month each year to the horrors of  Germany’s concentration camps.  This, to me, is complete overkill.  You don’t have to know every gory detail to make a better choice.

This poem simply expresses how I feel.   If there is to be a monument to me, I hope it would be a living one.  A living legacy, would be, to me, the most useful monument of all and perhaps the most meaningful.

–dsh