If you like to dance or fly, take a seat by my side. If you like to dream or play, Come. Open up your ears today. I have caught a story that's itching to be free. I have caught a story, so now, it belongs to me! Maybe it is magic or maybe it's really true. How do you catch a story? Well, that is up to you. Do you have a pocket? a hat? or sock or shoe? If you're in your pjs, then, your ears will have to do! © 2007 DarEll S. Hoskisson (dsh)
I’ve caught a story
that’s itching to be free.
I’ve caught a story,
so now it belongs to me.
Have you got a pocket?
A hat or a sock or a shoe?
How will you catch this story?
Well, that is up to you!
© 2007 DarEll S. Hoskisson (dsh)
Notes to Self
To beat depression symptoms: Start even if you don’t feel like it. Stop before time is up, before you want to or before you are exhausted.
Make a deal with yourself you only have to do it for five minutes. Small parts or time lengths. Starting is the hard part. Doing it actually feels better than avoiding it.
To prioritize: Remember that many things may equally or also be important. Don’t let one rob another.
To move forward: Permission includes both time and resources to make it happen or to get them. (Don’t be a wicked step-mother to yourself).
As a mother: Nice is not softening consequences. Fair is nice because it is fair for everyone.
(treat me how you want me to be)
**Check her soul and you will find a little girl with little pride all she needs is love and a try Help me see what I could be treat me kind and patiently next move I make, I'll surprise even me. I'm asking you to queen me. Queen me and you will see I'll come back with majesty Every inch that you give me I'll give you back as royalty.
My declaration to independence
*setting a course toward mutually rewarding human interdependence with dependence on God alone
I wrote this with a determined effort to write for my children what I thought would bring them happiness and freedom. It includes my faith. I value and respect others’ beliefs even if different from my own. I originally wrote, “we believe” but no other person has signed it or had a hand in creating it other than myself. Therefore, this is what I believe:
I believe that God made us a family.
I believe that each person in the family and ultimately in our human family is a son or daughter of God with equal, infinite worth and is worthy of love, respect, and kindness. (I would add now: but is not necessarily worthy of trust and/or proximity to me)
I believe that life is sacred. While all are of equal worth, all are not equal in ability, maturity or opportunity. Therefore, I value people for everything good that they are, all the good they have been, and for all the good they may yet become. (Also the positive contributions they made, have done and will do in the future).
I believe that righteous living honors God, our parents, our family, and our religion, and I boldly ignore those that would persuade me otherwise.
I believe that God does not give up on us or set us up to fail, and I commit to never give up on my family and to help each one succeed. I value loyalty to God, family, and country.
I believe that true happiness comes from unity with God, His laws, and with others. I believe happiness is impossible without gratitude. Therefore, I strive to enjoy, to appreciate, and to share every blessing.
I believe that peace is dependent on trusting God and loving truth. I believe that as I find joy in reality, I will demonstrate my trust in God’s will and that such faith will turn the key to miracles-discovering his will for me and unlocking great mysteries.
I believe that while others may have power to subject me physically, that no person or power can take away my personal right to choose my attitude, my values, my beliefs or my ability to pray.
I value difficult people, situations and problems as the incredible catalysts they are in my personal growth.
I value my opportunity to make a unique and positive contribution to humanity. I seek to develop my talents and abilities so that I can be a useful, wise steward. I strive to be loving and to help myself and others grow.
I value all honorable work and its force for good. I seek to value, protect, clean, repair and maintain all blessings including my body, animals and property entrusted to my care and to endeavor to teach my children to do the same. I seek to avoid waste.
I value my ability and right to make mistakes while I progress, learn self-mastery, and practice stewardship. I am glad to be human and give myself and others space to try again and again and again. I believe in Christ’s atonement for myself and others.
I value and respect the rules of our home, schools, employment and government for the clarity, order and peace they engender. I value limits on my behavior and choices insofar as they are helpful to prevent harm, chaos and conflict for all. I strive to work with others in appropriate ways to change rules that are oppressive or contrary to God’s laws.
I value the uniqueness of others and look for the good in them. I seek for harmony and synergy over being right, winning, or dominating. I strive to protect confidences, to avoid gossip, and to preserve the privacy and good name of others.
I seek to leave judgment to God, to mind my own business, and to choose what is best for myself. I allow others the same privilege as long as it does not infringe on the rights or safety of other people, animals, or property.
I believe that the person upset owns the problem to the extent that he or she has the awareness, the power, and the responsibility to discover his or her own part and to propose a mutually agreeable solution. When an offending party is unwilling or unable to admit the truth, to work towards a mutually healthy solution, or to care, I believe it is fully within the upset person’s rights to do something in order to protect themself, helpless, innocent or unsuspecting others, animals and property from willful harm. I believe it is also that person’s responsibility to seek, to ask for or to yell for help using all resources available as needed to prevent repeated victimization.
I value honesty.
I value language and strive to use its power with all my strength, talents, and resources to do good: to serve, to bless, to cheer, to build, to unite, and to get help. I recognize my opportunity and my responsibility to ask for what I need and want from others and from God.
I view my family membership as a privilege and covenant responsibility. I value the opportunity we have to spend time together, to enjoy family traditions together, to pray together, to serve each other, to work and play together and to live together because we want to.
I value creativity, individuality and fun. What needs to be done can be done in many ways with personality and style. I give myself permission to be me and also give you permission to be you.
I reserve the right to alter these core beliefs, values, and responsibilities as needed to match natural law and truth and to support and defend our privilege to seek freedom that is mutually conducive to life, love, and learning.
–DarEll S. Hoskisson
“If you rest, you rust.”–Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr
Productivity and efficiency are both such attractive topics to me. I love the idea that work can always be done better. And, I know people who are both more productive and more efficient than I am, proving it can be done.
In my notebook I have anonymous quotes that caught my eye:
“He had no wasted motion.”
“Things happened coming and going.”
In many ways I have been afraid of rest (and rust). I don’t like to waste time. Rest often seems like a waste and can look very lazy to others as well.
However, I have found in practice that always trying to do things as fast as possible is very stressful for me. I prefer to relax and enjoy what I am doing rather than race against time or a schedule. My temperament is high strung and anxious. Doing things quickly, under stress, is actually less productive for me.
For example, I stress to pack the family for the trip to Disney, we rush out the door to leave at the appointed time, and one hour into the journey I remember the tickets are home.
When overly stressed I forget things, lose or misplace important items, and sometimes lose my patience when a more paced procedure would actually save me time.
I now think that rest is important for all people. We need to punctuate times of high stress and activity with low stress and rest periods. But, especially if you are high strung like I am, the counterintuitive slow method might actually work better for you.
The navy seals have a saying that “slow is smooth, and smooth is fast.” This is a different way to look at efficiency.
But, how do you go slowly and still do things fast? I am not sure I have the answer to that question. Many tasks seem to take as much time as you give them. And, I have never been good at estimating time.
Ways that do work for me:
I set my own deadlines early with a couple of days grace period in case I get behind or life surprises me. That extra planned cushion relieves stress and allows me to focus on a task without the distraction of worry.
I plan in larger chunks of time with fewer transitions. I have never done well with a minute by minute schedule. It makes me feel like a robot with no freedom, and if anyone even speaks to me it ends up making me late like dominos all throughout the day. I want to talk to people. I want to be a person who has time for other people. I feel the world is harsh enough without all of us too busy to even be human to each other. I don’t feel like myself when a routine task seems to be more important than a precious person. This is a personal value betrayal. So, I have to have grace time within my life if at all possible.
There is an old latin phrase, “festina lente” which means to hurry slowly. I like that.
I like being the hare not the tortoise. So I need to pace my pulses and pauses in such a way that I’m not too active or too slow for too long. Like setting the wavelength of a beautiful wave, I think each pattern might be individual. My husband, for example, likes a steady pace (and he usually will beat me).
So, I’m giving myself permission to not only rest, but trust myself that I will get up and go. I do. I enjoy working hard and making a difference every day. I am thankful for that motivation.
I just can’t run off so fast that my rest is a collapse. Instead, I am going to practice hurrying slowly.
DarEll S. Hoskisson
Looking for Work?
Even if you have a less than ideal past or a challenging disability, you may be able to get a job at Goodwill. In our city they have many positions open and are hiring now (Aug 2022).
Goodwill Industries began in Boston at the turn of the 19th century as an idea by the Rev. Edgar J. Helms. The idea was simple, fight poverty not with charity, but with trade skills—and provide a chance for the poor and the unemployed to do productive work.From History of Goodwill and Mission
One of my children got hired there recently, and I overheard the orientation materials. It was inspiring. I love to work somewhere that my personal mission matches the organization’s. There are more types of jobs than you might realize as well such as e-commerce and job skills training.
Sometimes that first job is the hardest to get. Other times it takes networking which is hard to do if you are new in an area. Whatever the situation, it is exciting to be helping solve and prevent our community problems proactively. I’m happy to know more about and support their mission.
PS: Indeed.com is an easy way to apply to many places but no one I know has had much luck with it. I hear that they receive way too many applications. Most people I know who have met with success have gone directly to the company or organization’s website and applied directly.
Good luck to you!
The Only Way
Two roads diverged ahead of me to avoid the most sour or find the most sweet, I looked both ways before choosing my street. By choosing one, I'd neglect the other In fact, there may be thousands, I'd never discover. Yet standing still brought me even less. Preferring somewhere to nowhere I chose left which I judged a-right would bring me to the best fruit in sight After just a few steps I stubbed my toe This wasn't the way it was supposed to go! I glanced back the way I came it seemed every other way had less shame. I saw my friends go whizzing by while my progress was labored and slow I didn't even really know if I was headed where I wanted to go. But, to quit now, I'd lose the promising fruit. So making the best of it, I kept moving each foot. I felt heavier and heavier; it seemed a great weight. "Surely there's more," I thought "This can't be my fate." "I might be flying if I let go of this sack. These things are just holding me back." So I turned again and looked where I'd been. Every road looked better than the one I was in. "If only", "should have", "would have" and "never" mocked me from every other possible golden path. Just when I thought, "I might as well quit" and decided to rub my feet while I'd sit, I looked at my fruit that had come at such cost All I worked for, protected, and carried was not lost. I saw now that no one could take them from me I had gathered them on the way to the tree. I looked around again and saw it was true. You can't travel any road without a bump or two. Those paths that had all looked so brilliant and smooth had hazards and costs and benefits, too. I needed to come this way! I'd do it again. I'm glad I'm here. I'll move on and then.. I'll keep choosing a street and I'll keep moving on it is the only way to who I will become. DSH
Priorities I'm free to be me and like it or not I'm boss of myself whether I have a boss or not And when my life's all said and done I hope my family will know the one they call "wife" and "mom" loved them more than all the rest. I hope they'll know I gave them my very best. At work or church there are others that might do just as well but nobody else my stories can tell No one else sings with my voice lullabies or holds them close to look at them with my eyes No one else can be me for them Though they have a new wife, a new mother, or new friends. DSH 12/06
Preparing a child for High School or for Technical College?
Just a heads up, parents, that there are after high school options (and during high school options) that you may not know about that could be amazing opportunities for your child.
Dual enrollment, concurrent enrollment, AP classes, OJT, early release, and work experience with job coaching to name a few. When our first child started high school, we found out that tryouts had already occurred. We were late before the school year had even begun.
Your son or daughter could also graduate early or graduate with a technical skill certification.
As much as we would like our children to advocate for themselves and find out about these things in time, it has not been realistic to expect in my experience. How do you know what to ask about if you don’t even know what it is called?
This year my son is graduating, and we are looking into technical schools. We did not realize how competitive they are to get into. Many programs only have 20 students per class. So, if your son or daughter wants or even may want to attend, you have to apply immediately when application acceptance opens.
For a January start, you have to apply on September 1st. September 1st is not when to get the paperwork prepared, it is when to upload it all and turn it in immediately. August start is even more competitive and may have a registration more than four months ahead.
So, plan to advocate for your child and help them apply and meet deadlines well in advance of what you might think necessary. Transitioning to adult education and life is a long process. Just like applying for college, students can apply, be accepted, and still not attend. So, there is little risk in applying.
I’m wishing you luck.