I reject rejection

Have you ever felt pressure to ignore someone, laugh at something not funny, or walk past someone alone? In a society that finds entertainment viewing “fails,” I think adults often carry around left over adolescent views and pain. We are all human. We need to belong. (And, we do).

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To refuse to recognize or befriend a “loser” or “misfit” you must believe there is such a thing.

Many people are easy to overlook because they are quiet, inactive, or otherwise don’t participate. Maybe they aren’t even there so they are easy not to miss. We don’t know much about them. They might come late, or leave early, or not share much about themselves. Maybe we don’t even remember their name. Maybe we never knew. They might not be looking, smelling, or acting in ways we enjoy being around. Maybe we can’t communicate with them literally or figuratively.

To avoid people entirely that we don’t automatically understand or enjoy is to miss out on what they can teach us. It is to miss out on their unique gifts and strengths that without digging deeper you may never see. It is to avoid an opportunity to stretch your friendship and your comfort zone.

Research has shown that we enjoy being in homogenous groups, but those groups don’t lead to the best decisions. Turns out we need diversity as much as each diverse person needs a friend.

To accept a “place” in a social hierarchy especially in a static or permanent way is to admit belief that such a structure exists. I reject this!

Of course there are people more and less successful in some ways. Some people are more powerful or stronger. Some have more money. Some have more family, more possessions, or more friends. But why do people insist that this changes their value? I don’t think it does.

Value to society. Can that be measured? I suppose anti-social behaviors, crimes, and harm can definitely weaken us. And, pro-social work, fairness, and compassionate service do contribute. I’m not suggesting that these things can’t be measured.

But what I am saying, for example, is that you can’t compare a person with cerebral palsy with a person that is a genius and say one is more valuable. How could you compare how many people derive purpose, challenge and inspiration from one vs the other? How can you measure the degree of impact?

So, in this one way, one friend is as good as another. They are both equally valuable–infinitely valuable. But they certainly are unique, irreplaceable, and priceless. No one else can be you, ever. The same goes for every other. So, no–no other friend is the same as another.

“Let your freak flag fly” is one way I have heard this pride in individuality proclaimed. I love the idea of you being you and me being me without fear. But, this attitude seems to be loud and almost obnoxious. I think all of us have at some point felt alone, rejected, misfit, or not good enough. We all have weaknesses. But, I also think we don’t have to brag and annoy people with our differences. We all have those, too.

We can not believe we are on top if we are humble. We can not believe we are on the bottom if we are honest, either.

We only see what we measure for, so what about all the ways we aren’t measuring? What about all the impacts on people and through time that we can not calculate?

There is something to learn from everyone (even bad examples).

There is something to give.

There is something to receive.

A priceless interchange if we are willing and able to make the leap.

Like a synapse jump across neurons that light up the brain. It can spark even if the contact is brief.

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I dare you to reject rejection with me.

Namaste,

DarEll S. Hoskisson

12/8/22

Queen Me

Queen Me

(treat me how you want me to be)

**Check her soul and you will find
a little girl with little pride
all she needs is love and a try

Help me see what I could be
treat me kind and patiently
next move I make, I'll surprise even me.
I'm asking you to 
queen me.

Queen me and you will see
I'll come back with majesty
Every inch that you give me
I'll give you back as royalty.
Outdoor chess at Bletchley Park by Tiger is licensed under CC-BY-SA 2.0

My brother, my sister

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Aching–muscles, hearts

Joy–smiles, souls

Crying–tear stains

Wrinkles–age, dimples

Sick– hurt, health

Money–blessing, curse

Hope–future, faith

Earth–rebirth, death

I am here with you

What is so worth it?

What matters?

What really makes any difference at all?

Experiencing this life with all the rewards and hurts–anguish and peace.

Sharing those times with others.

Making someone’s load lighter.

Learning from mistakes.

Getting up in the morning.

Finding a different sight.

–DSH ’97

I’m Going Your Way

I’m Going Your Way

Haven't I seen your face before?
When last I walked this way,
I never noticed you.

I was blinded by other things
such small and nameless things
were you always there?

I couldn't see your wounds or scars,
you felt no warmth from me; of how,
could you ever call me, "friend?"

Neighbor, dear neighbor, what shall I do?  
Could the touch of my hand be his gift to you?
and have I walked by your way, saying others will stay?

When next I come,
will his work be done?
For today, I'm going your way.

His eyes were kind, they saw everything
and whene'er he walked my way,
He always noticed me.

I was sorrowing for many things
through pain and suffering
he was always there.

He could see every wound and scar
He gave new life to me; of how,
Could I ever serve my friend?

Neighbor, dear neighbor, yes, I will do.
May the touch of my hand be his gift to you.
And as I pass by your way, I will see you and pray

"Each time I come,
may his work be done.  
Dear Savior, I'm going your way." 

--DarEll S. Hoskisson
Priorities

Priorities

Priorities

I'm free to be me
and like it or not
I'm boss of myself
whether I have a boss or not

And when my life's all
said and done
I hope my family will
know the one

they call "wife" and "mom"
loved them more than all the rest.
I hope they'll know
I gave them my very best.

At work or church there are others
that might do just as well
but nobody else 
my stories can tell

No one else sings
with my voice lullabies
or holds them close 
to look at them with my eyes

No one else can be me for them
Though they have a new wife,
a new mother, or new friends.  

DSH  12/06
             

Faces

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The faces down the hall
are freaky, glad or grim
The rolling eyes and tossing heads
That clever, angry grin

That whispering, not too soft
will cause a little cry
as giggles erupt behind my back
and burn behind my eye

Faces, faces everywhere
each has a look for you
Some crusty, pent up feeling shows
that might give you a clue

But really masks are all they are
That's all the faces wear
Painted on, dressed up or fighting
Each one stares, "I Don't Care"

But, the fear behind the faces 
is as large as they are weak
The real faces would like to come out
They're just too scared to peek

DSH 4/2/07 
Photo by MART PRODUCTION on Pexels.com

People are not as they seem. All are walking a difficult road for some reason, even those who appear to have it all together or appear to have it all.

Catching Up

It has been so long

since we spent a quiet

afternoon

together.

Just my pen

and I

getting reacquainted

with

myself.

Catching the lessons

out of the sea

of experience

and tacking them

up page by page

in the sun

to dry

so I can taste them

again

on yet another day’s

golden picnic.

DSH 11-30-16

 

 

Success

I am my service–

my greatest, only gift.

How shall I wrap it?

‘ depends on what you need.

If I’m ever in your service,

forever on your team,

how can you accuse me

of being so mean?

And am I not successful

if you have what you need?

If my gift is invisible to you,

what happened to the deed?

Is it really there?

I guess that depends

on if you

know

how much I care.

-DSH 11/30/16

The Enemy

Hurt.

I carry the burning scars

with me.

I face them

in the mirror

every day.

The memory

inflames me

with justifiable

anger.

 

Hurt.

I will never forget

or let you in

no matter how long

you knock.

I can’t listen.

It doesn’t matter.

There is no

excuse.

 

Agony.

The betrayal.

You should have been

my friend!

 

Agony.

You might have been

if only

I had been

yours.

–DarEll S. Hoskisson 1/29/16

**I don’t believe this is always true. ┬áThere are truly enemies we need to protect ourselves and our families from, acts of true barbarism that can’t be allowed to be repeated.

But, in general, who the aggressor is in any frictional or one-sided relationship is less clear.