Friend
It isn’t that you
can’t hurt me or won’t.
It isn’t that you
can’t leave me or don’t.
The risk is real and
inevitable.
It is that I believe
that we will get through it somehow,
that although pain will come, it will be unintentional, and
that you are worth it.
–DarEll S. Hoskisson
1/28/16
Hah!
I laugh!
I smile!
I dance in spite of you!
You forget,
I’m not alone.
I know that
You can’t win without me.
Fear, I spin upon your chest.
Shake and tremble all you will,
I dance still.
Jealousy, just give up on me.
I stomp in cheerful unity.
VICTORY!!
Pain, I know you have a claim,
But I will hug you ’til you bend my way.
I’m okay.
Fatigue, you just don’t get it.
I’m
Still
Moving.
Anger, rage if you will.
Hurt, betray, or annoy
I give with joy.
You can not make me not love you,
nor take what I freely give.
Life,
You just got the best of me.
DSH
Jan 15, 2008
If you’re like I was
you won’t have a clue
how to live up to
your most beautiful you
But you have what it takes and
you won’t build alone
as you discover yourself
you’ll find you
have grown
DarEll S. Hoskisson
March 2015
I heard the dark clouds are threatening
You’ve been struck by lightning
a time or two
and Yet you are still standing–
although with a limp, it’s true.
We know the storms will end but
hurricanes cause devastating loss.
We futility worry and wonder,
What will it ultimately cost?
But we also know that with rain
come the rainbows
as the light shows the
beauty in the storm.
We will certainly see
promised treasures
when we perceive them
in any form.
–DarEll S. Hoskisson 3/4/15
I stand high, free
The sun rains down on me
as I open my arms, palms to the sky
I already know I can fly
I’ve seen you soaring
high above the trees
Your mighty wings overshadowing me,
I’m nurtured, protected
So often, you let me ride on your back
You’ve made it easy
and I see
I’m still standing on your shoulders.
dsh
The familiar landscapes
Catch my breath
And reel me in
Toward home.
The palm-shadowed
Sky frames my way
And I taste the beauty.
Was it always this sweet?
The house is the same,
But I feel the changes
That distort my memory.
What was I expecting?
That I could come home
To a world frozen in the place
I left it, or that because I
Feel the same, I would be?
Rip Van Winkle’s shadow
Plays tricks on me as I see
That time and family
Went on without me.
Will I have a place?
What will be my role?
I left a child,
But I don’t know yet
Where I belong.
I’m back from Neverland
Impatient to be grown.
But for now, at least,
I’m home.
–2013 dsh
My back to the ocean,
photo courtesy Carrie Keohane
I didn’t see them coming.
I just kept getting knocked off my feet
and spun upside down in a salty somersault.
The flat spots grew piles,
The floor oozed grit,
The dishes dried on dirty
and all my efforts were always spent
just trying to get my head back in the air
and keep it up, treading water.
In a herculean effort I would jump
to clean with all my might to stay ahead of the next wave.
It would be beautiful
for a glorious moment,
but by the next day, whump.
Back to normal.
Floors sucking on the dirty clothes,
dust bunnies propagating,
hungry children.
I need a shower.
My head down, I’m drowning again
with my feet sprawling overhead.
I knew I couldn’t keep this up.
Desperate, I felt almost dead.
I was smothered in the life
ironically chosen by myself.
It kept pushing me under
over and over again.
I couldn’t catch the pattern.
I didn’t know about the tide.
My great expectations and reality
would constantly collide.
I had to turn and face the waves.
I had to run out to meet them as they’d come.
I had to plan for the surprises, too.
I simply had to find the sun.
By preparing and maintaining,
though I could not stop the tide,
my life got routinely easier than
going along for that ride.
© 2013 DarEll S. Hoskisson
The familiar landscape
catches my breath
and reels me in
toward home.
When the palms shadow
the sky along my road
I know
I’m almost there.
It is just how I left it.
Yet, somehow
it seems smaller.
I sense the changes.
Rip Van Winkle’s shadow
plays tricks on my memory,
and I wonder,
“What was I expecting?”
That the world would
stand still just because
I was gone? or that
I would be the same,
simply because I feel
that way?
I left a child.
In Neverland,
I found my wings.
I want to fly away.
I never could have guessed
it would take so long to be grown.
But, for now at least,
I’m home.
© 2013 DarEll S. Hoskisson
It is not getting everything done first,
Trophy (Photo credit: cole24_)
or winning a big race.
It is not comparing yourself
or beating another’s pace.
It is not killing yourself
to keep a spotless house,
overscheduled and overwhelmed,
putting pressure on your spouse.
Working too hard is just as bad
as lazy, lethargic waste.
Keeping the big picture firmly in my mind,
the truth must be faced
That life IS now,
the journey.
and so if I constantly
overshedule and hurry,
I will lose in life along the way.
Others will not feel I care
or take the time to talk.
I may not even be there
for the ones that need me most
for intimate, quiet times
for simple, homemade meals together
for lullabies and nursery rhymes.
© 2013 DarEll S. Hoskisson
The quote above I attribute to my most awesome first pilates teacher, Annia Reyes. It is quite possible that others have said it before her and if you know of another the quote originally came from, you can please let me know.
I quote it here because to me it is such a perfect reminder of what we are trying to WIN at, and that often it is not what I think will make me happy that does.
Today I find myself overscheduled. Yet, I still try to fit everything in, including writing my poem today. In the big picture, I should have let it go, it is overstressing my life. But, I find, even knowing better I can not resist the temptation to try to get 100% of my goal to write a poem each day this month.
And so, I have determined in the future to write my goals more specifically and with a range of success that leaves room for honestly living my priorities and not over-stressing my self or my family. See my post Consistent for more thoughts on how it might be done. –dsh
Self-less, honored sacrifice
for a greater cause.
Or when a choice must be made,
risking all to save another.
Dangerous Risk Adrenaline Suicide by Fear of Falling (Photo credit: epSos.de)
But not a rule of kindness
to be followed hard and fast.
Constantly a martyr
is suicide at last.
© 2013 DarEll S. Hoskisson
Personal Abridgements: Living Well Together 