Parenting

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Beets Mom

This year for Mothers’ Day, my youngest son gave me a hand written, colorful note.

It says, “Happy Mothers Day. The best moms teach yoga!” I laughed and had to share it with my yoga class. Thank heavens I teach yoga or else, how could I be the best mom?

Best, Beets–They are about the same thing and this year my thoughts on Moms went straight for that vegetable. The week before Mother’s day I found in the grocery store the largest, most beautiful fresh beets I’d ever seen. They were large and had big red and green stems that were leafy, not wilted and looked very fresh.

I bought them and prepared them for dinner. I thought they were wonderful, but most of my children did not appreciate them at all. In fact, it is a good thing I like them because I’m still eating left-overs.

I think beets are the best symbol for a good mom. They might not always have the most attractive skin, but they are good for you and wonderful. All the beauty they have inside colors everything they do. My hands were red from the contact for two days. The water they cooked in was red. A gentle, unintentional influence. So, so beautiful and natural and nutritious.

So, maybe yoga is the best, but this year for me, beets beat all as the symbol for the Mom I want to be (whether the children recognize it’s beauty, it’s value, or it’s significance or not.)

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The battle of Bedford Falls

Drama.  Excitement. 

I am very human in the way I love to feel alive.  See the excitement in life all around me.  I love to find it for myself by trying new things, asking questions, searching for answers.

But, what I struggle with most, I think, is the very common, everyday life that is incredibly monotonous.  Wake up every morning.  Still need to make breakfast, dishes, laundry, whiney or fighting kids, dirt, sadness, meanness, decay, things that break and need to be fixed. The mundane.  The predictable.  The incomprehensibly never complete-able. 

It is one thing to be out on a horse conquering some big dragon out in the universe.  It is still another to stay home and fight ingratitude, boredom, and normal resistance to progress. 

It is like fighting gravity.  You want to be in outer space, above it all, doing something grand.

But, the fact is, life is happening on earth.  That is where it is.  Life is dirt.  It is a cycle of dirt.  It is hunger.  It is a cycle of hunger.  When you are winning, you don’t have something new and wonderful, you are just free from something distasteful. 

It takes a keen sight to find the glory is working hard to get rid of something unwanted that relentlessly comes back.  And, you know, if you quit, you will lose.  But if you work super hard you can never win.  It will always come back.

The weeds will come back, the dirt will come back, the hunger will come back, the bills will come again, the clothes will wear out, that thing will break.

Which war is harder, I wonder?  They are both necessary. 

But, it takes a very courageous person to carry on knowing it is a doomed mission.  It will never be finished.

But, perhaps that is the glory of it? 

The challenges are necessary to life, like gravity.

To win the war, we have to win the daily battle in Bedford Falls. 

(I’m just noticing how fitting that town name is.  Here is where we sleep.  Here is where we fall down.  Here is where we help each other keep getting up again.)

dsh

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Walk to cure diabetes

Want to find a way to exercise and help others, but not an athlete or able to run long distances?

You might try this way to WALK to help cure Diabetes.  They have walks all over the United States and it doesn’t split up families.  Children and teens can participate, too.

You can even sign up to get notifications of a walk in your area.

Check it out.  Love, DarEll

walk.jdrf.org

 

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Drowning in Housework

My back to the ocean,

photo courtesy Carrie Keohane

photo courtesy Carrie Keohane

I didn’t see them coming.

I just kept getting knocked off my feet

and spun upside down in a salty somersault.

The flat spots grew piles,

The floor oozed grit,

The dishes dried on dirty

and all my efforts were always spent

just trying to get my head back in the air

and keep it up, treading water.

In a herculean effort I would jump

to clean with all my might to stay ahead of the next wave.

It would be beautiful

for a glorious moment,

but by the next day, whump.

Back to normal.

Floors sucking on the dirty clothes,

dust bunnies propagating,

hungry children.

I need a shower.

My head down, I’m drowning again

with my feet sprawling overhead.

I knew I couldn’t keep this up.

Desperate, I felt almost dead.

I was smothered in the life

ironically chosen by myself.

It kept pushing me under

over and over again.

I couldn’t catch the pattern.

I didn’t know about the tide.

My great expectations and reality

would constantly collide.

I had to turn and face the waves.

I had to run out to meet them as they’d come.

I had to plan for the surprises, too.

I simply had to find the sun.

By preparing and maintaining,

though I could not stop the tide,

my life got routinely easier than

going along for that ride.

© 2013 DarEll S. Hoskisson

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Where can I find fun activities for kids?

This is a mall kids’ club that has fun activities for kids at Simon malls throughout the year. My friend that told me about it has a 3 year old and he had over 2 hours of fun with her there last weekend planting seeds and making wooden bead necklaces, etc.

I checked it out and it is 5$ per year per child and includes a t-shirt.

http://www.simon.com/kidgits/#/parents/membership

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Fifteen

English: Female surfer in Maui

English: Female surfer in Maui (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I’ve asked many doctors
if there is a cure
for my common malady,
a case of teenager.

They each assure me it’s normal
but rich they’d surely be
if they could prevent the storms
most teens seem destined to see.

They say that just a few short years
is all it should reasonably take.
If waiting is the answer, then,
I pray my patience won’t break.

I wish I could keep you sheltered here
and ignore the reality of harm,
but you must learn to swim and swim hard,
not just on seas safe and warm.

I must let you struggle
and fight your way to strong.
One day I’ll see you proudly surfing
and know I wasn’t wrong.

© 2012 DarEll S. Hoskisson
written July 5, 2012
posted today in honor of my daughter’s last day of fifteen

A teen she knew from her high school just got shot and killed over the weekend. It isn’t something to take for granted, making it to sixteen. Always grateful for one more day with my family.

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“Life is the real sport” –Annia Reyes

It is not getting everything done first,

Trophy

Trophy (Photo credit: cole24_)

or winning a big race.

It is not comparing yourself

or beating another’s pace.

It is not killing yourself

to keep a spotless house,

overscheduled and overwhelmed,

putting pressure on your spouse.

Working too hard is just as bad

as lazy, lethargic waste.

Keeping the big picture firmly in my mind,

the truth must be faced

That life IS now,

the journey.

and so if I constantly

overshedule and hurry,

I will lose in life along the way.

Others will not feel I care

or take the time to talk.

I may not even be there

for the ones that need me most

for intimate, quiet times

for simple, homemade meals together

for lullabies and nursery rhymes.

© 2013 DarEll S. Hoskisson

The quote above I attribute to my most awesome first pilates teacher, Annia Reyes.  It is quite possible that others have said it before her and if you know of another the quote originally came from, you can please let me know.

I quote it here because to me it is such a perfect reminder of what we are trying to WIN at, and that often it is not what I think will make me happy that does.

Today I find myself overscheduled.  Yet, I still try to fit everything in, including writing my poem today.  In the big picture, I should have let it go, it is overstressing my life.  But, I find, even knowing better I can not resist the temptation to try to get 100% of my goal to write a poem each day this month.

And so, I have determined in the future to write my goals more specifically and with a range of success that leaves room for honestly living my priorities and not over-stressing my self or my family.  See my post Consistent for more thoughts on how it might be done.  –dsh