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Assertiveness Skills from How to be an Adult by David Richo

Assertiveness resource: avoiding aggression and passive victimization

personalabridgements's avatarPersonal Abridgements

Several years ago I noticed that so often we can turn into a victim/martyr vs the bully/needy one battle. This dog eat dog world, I’ve never bought into—consciously, but often I play the role. I read another book that described 3 roles–the victim, the bully, and the hero. But, what if we didn’t play those games?

I realized that another option had to be the right one. What would that look like– to not be the victim, the bully or even the hero? (Of course with only those 3 options, who wouldn’t want to be the hero?)

I wrote it this way:
Plan A–Ate (I am the winner/bully)
Plan B–Bait (I am the victim/martyr)

What could be plan C?
I wrote Charity

I have been personally trying to discover my way out of all those other roles. How can we just be free and let others be free as well?

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My first hurricane I wish I had…. or had known…..

This is a conglomerate of answers from a group of friends at my church feel free to add comments of your own:

Realized well water goes out with the power (needs power to run the pump)

Called or contacted friends (not everyone was without water for a week)

My freezer would defrost and flood

More blue ice, a bigger cooler, and less meat in the freezer

LED flashlights and lamps instead of candles. (flashlights can’t set the house on fire)

Made sure the roof was tight

Made a plan for my pets to evacuate

Topped off the gas tank BEFORE the storm hit

More bleach!!! 10+ gallons. Everything stinks when it’s hot

Believed the announcements and went to safety

A weather radio (NOAA)

My ID, insurance records, birth certificates, etc. with me

Separated the cars (less chance of both being trapped or damaged at least by the same tree, etc.)

Known how to use the camp stove and lantern

Filled the tub with water and used it to flush the toilet

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August OTA: Clothing and Hygiene

Our August Opportunity to act is: Clothing and Hygiene

This is a great time to get deals on clothing with the back to school sales and tax breaks.

Ideas for clothing:

Scrubs: light, comfortable, adjustable (if you get thinner or fatter)

Next year’s size: For kids, if you buy the next size, when they suddenly outgrow something, you look in their kit first. This has been a life saver for a last minute pair of socks or underwear, too. Put a few extra of each package away in the kit. *Remember to buy the next size and replace it in the kit.

Sweats: Although a better idea for up North, Sweats could still work here. If it is hot, you can cut off the sleeves and the legs. You can sleep in them. They stretch, etc.

Shoes: You want a sturdy pair especially if you are walking out in after-hurricane debris. Start with your sturdiest old pair instead of throwing them out. Eventually buy ahead or get some metal soled work boots as a permanent addition.

No room in your pack for shoes? Tie them with the laces to the outside. You will probably wear them anyway.

Extra socks and Underwear: It is very hard to stay dry in the heat (sweating) and rain. Pack extra socks and underwear in waterproof bags.

Long sleeves: Although long sleeves seem counter-intuitive, if you burn easily, you might prefer a long sleeve shirt with a collar. An old Sunday shirt might work well for men. Think beach or boating–what would you like to have out in the wet, sun, and heat all day?

Hats and Ponchos: Sun and Rain: Find ones that pack well and are reuseable. Big trashbags can be your first ponchos, then save up for something better (if you want).

Hygiene: Think what you would need for 3 days. A wash rag might be a useful edition as you may have to sponge shower for quite a while. You can live without deodorant, but you’ll be glad if you don’t have to.

One often neglected item is some type of petroleum jelly for rashes. Choose clothes that do not rub when wet especially between the legs and along the calves. Use the jelly as soon as a problem begins to help prevent it from getting worse.

Toothbrushes: You can get them prepasted or the tiny wisp brushes to save space or just a regular dollar store version. This is another great thing to have an extra of around for company or when you just found your toddler scrubbing the toilet with yours. 🙂 lol

Other ideas you might want to include: anti-itch cream, diapers, depends, pullups, fem hygiene, wet wipes or paper towels, toilet paper, etc.

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New to Hurricane Country

If you are new to Hurricane Country, you will want to

1–Get a hurricane preparedness guide from your local EOC

2–Become familiar with the hurricane categories and their meaning
http://www.nhc.noaa.gov/aboutsshws.php

3–Be sure to include protection from flooding, rain, mosquitoes–bug spray, and sun–hat, sunscreen, shade.

4–Prepare an evacuation kit (72 hr emergency survival kit)

5–Prepare for a week or more of sheltering at home without electricity and/or water.
a chorded phone requires no electricity, store ice, gradually empty freezer and fill with ice during hurricane season, store a cooler and ice chest, (Other ideas: camp stove, generator, chain saw –ideas not requirements.) Store water and additional medical and first aid supplies at home.

6–Watch the weather. If you are traveling or not, keep a heads up for the weather. Prepare for a hurricane in advance. Have a plan to protect your home and windows if you are a home owner.

7–Evacuate if asked to do so. Hurricanes are much more frightening and/or dangerous than most people give them credit for. Be overly cautious and overly prepared to protect life and property.

8–Hurricanes often have tornados that start up out along the edges. Because the hurricane is gone does not mean there is no danger. The eye of the hurricane is silent and still by comparison. It might be only half over, don’t go out too soon.

9–Hurricanes take a long time coming BUT they can suddenly speed up or change direction.

10–It can be long, hot and boring. Keep games or other non-electric activities and ideas on hand to pass the hours especially with children. A battery powered or hand operated NOAA radio will keep you up on the weather news and changes.

11–Board and Unboard: a boarded up home can become a fire hazard. So, you don’t want to board up months in advance or keep it boarded months afterwards. Use your best judgment, but don’t stay boarded longer than necessary.

12–You can add changes to your roof and home to make a stronger, internal shelter. Investigate these if you are interested and able.

13–Roof damage is very common and because it happens to so many at once may be impossible to get fixed right away. Store some big tarps to tack over it while waiting. Make sure you get a licensed professional so you don’t become a fraud victim. The state has information to help you with ensuring you hire a true professional and to help with insurance claims, etc.

14–Have a land line phone: This becomes a reverse 911 where the city can call you to alert you of danger. If you don’t have a land line, register your cell number with the emergency operations in your city.

15–Plan an out of state contact. Make sure all family members know to contact this person to help when getting information and getting back together after a major catastrophic event.

16–Recovery takes time. Sometimes years. Expect to lose some work and save money and supplies to get you through these seasons.

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What if I have no money?

personalabridgements's avatarPersonal Abridgements: Living Well Together

It does take some money to build or rotate a survival kit.
But, it doesn’t take any money to gather what you have.

Start with what you have. Gather it together into a plastic trash bag or pillow case. Work from there.

It doesn’t take money to plan.
Make a list of what you need.
Take the time to sort it with most critical on top. Then, when you have the opportunity to work on it, start at the top.

It doesn’t take money to store water.
Ask a friend or neighbor for their old, empty two liter bottles.
Clean them thoroughly and fill with water at the tap or a drinking fountain.
You can live without almost everything else, but you NEED water. Find a way to store water. A gallon of drinking water is usually around a dollar. If you have little or no money, buy this before…

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