NEVER

“NEVER.”

That bitter sentence

sucks

a black hole

swallowing my dreams.

I dangle over the abyss.

“No more,” and

“never again,”

echo,

mocking my wishes,

carving canyons

impossible

to cross.

I expected better

although I don’t know why

I feel cheated,

trapped,

lost.

Am I still myself?

I hate this new

definition.

One without warning.

Involuntary.

Permanent.

How can I

accept

this

never

 

—DarEll S. Hoskisson 1/16

The final punctuation is up to the reader.

Is it:

How can I accept this?

Never!

or

How can I accept this “never?”

A mother’s must see movie

Mom’s Night Out
is definitely a movie mothers with small children, especially stay at home moms, can relate to. It was so funny I was crying. It is not the kind of movie that interests the children, all but my nine year old left the room. It is also not for people who would be offended by Christian values since it appears to be a Christian film. I super, super loved it. It is a very good reminder of how and why we mothers shouldn’t and can’t lose perspective or our minds. 🙂 It is very encouraging. Happy Mothering! I’d love to buy a copy for all my sisters.

Be-You-tiful

Mirror 01
If you’re like I was
you won’t have a clue
how to live up to
your most beautiful you

But you have what it takes and
you won’t build alone
as you discover yourself
you’ll find you
have grown

DarEll S. Hoskisson
March 2015

Stricken

Stricken

I heard the dark clouds are threatening
You’ve been struck by lightning
a time or two
and Yet you are still standing–
although with a limp, it’s true.

We know the storms will end but
hurricanes cause devastating loss.
We futility worry and wonder,
What will it ultimately cost?

But we also know that with rain
come the rainbows
as the light shows the
beauty in the storm.

We will certainly see
promised treasures
when we perceive them
in any form.

–DarEll S. Hoskisson 3/4/15

How can I study quicker and learn more permanently? How can I get my child to remember the times tables?

I recently discovered anki, it is essentially a flash card program but much better. It has decks of cards already pre-loaded so you can start your child off on times tables right away. Or make your own specialized cards/decks.

It is set up so that you can use it on your phone or mobile device.

It is free.

It syncs both directions so you can practice on your computer, phone, tablet whatever.

You can make your own flashcards with voice/pronunciation and pictures also if you like.

It asks you both directions so that you not only practice knowing what something means, but also recalling it.

SRS stands for spaced Repetition System. It is scientifically set up to ask you and re ask you the questions or meanings at longer and longer intervals just before you might forget– helping you get the info into your long-term memory. You can do this yourself using the game schedule in the book cited below, or the computer does it for you with the help of the anki website.

An EXCELLENT help for language learning and anything you learn worth remembering permanently. There are tutorials on youtube.

The website is Ankisrs.net

It is described in detail in the book Fluent Forever by Gabriel Wyner

My son is already doing much better at his times tables in just a few minutes a day and it is a fun game.
I’m being able to use the Sanskrit yoga terms with more confidence.
This is just the system I was looking for to keep from wasting time and studying with confidence! Good luck to you.

Griefwork resource: Notes from How to be an Adult by David Richo

A Mourning Resource: How grief is part of growing up

personalabridgements's avatarPersonal Abridgements

I am really enjoying this book.

In the first section, he points out how every hero story starts out with a disaster of some kind– a loss, rejection, mistake, illness, disaster or even attack.

This first part points out how we all have things we needed in the past that we didn’t get–even though it is not necessarily anyone’s fault but of course it could be. These we carry around with us now–as a wound or an unexplainable longing, big feelings, beliefs or attitudes and these affect us now.

So, the first part, surprising to me, is learning how to mourn. It is grief work. Because I recently lost my Dad, I’m more familiar with grief and interested in grief than before. But, accepting what we don’t want is a loss–it is grief. Accepting anything in the past we did not like–is grief. If we can work through it instead…

View original post 109 more words

Assertiveness Skills from How to be an Adult by David Richo

Assertiveness resource: avoiding aggression and passive victimization

personalabridgements's avatarPersonal Abridgements

Several years ago I noticed that so often we can turn into a victim/martyr vs the bully/needy one battle. This dog eat dog world, I’ve never bought into—consciously, but often I play the role. I read another book that described 3 roles–the victim, the bully, and the hero. But, what if we didn’t play those games?

I realized that another option had to be the right one. What would that look like– to not be the victim, the bully or even the hero? (Of course with only those 3 options, who wouldn’t want to be the hero?)

I wrote it this way:
Plan A–Ate (I am the winner/bully)
Plan B–Bait (I am the victim/martyr)

What could be plan C?
I wrote Charity

I have been personally trying to discover my way out of all those other roles. How can we just be free and let others be free as well?

View original post 535 more words

The battle of Bedford Falls

Drama.  Excitement. 

I am very human in the way I love to feel alive.  See the excitement in life all around me.  I love to find it for myself by trying new things, asking questions, searching for answers.

But, what I struggle with most, I think, is the very common, everyday life that is incredibly monotonous.  Wake up every morning.  Still need to make breakfast, dishes, laundry, whiney or fighting kids, dirt, sadness, meanness, decay, things that break and need to be fixed. The mundane.  The predictable.  The incomprehensibly never complete-able. 

It is one thing to be out on a horse conquering some big dragon out in the universe.  It is still another to stay home and fight ingratitude, boredom, and normal resistance to progress. 

It is like fighting gravity.  You want to be in outer space, above it all, doing something grand.

But, the fact is, life is happening on earth.  That is where it is.  Life is dirt.  It is a cycle of dirt.  It is hunger.  It is a cycle of hunger.  When you are winning, you don’t have something new and wonderful, you are just free from something distasteful. 

It takes a keen sight to find the glory is working hard to get rid of something unwanted that relentlessly comes back.  And, you know, if you quit, you will lose.  But if you work super hard you can never win.  It will always come back.

The weeds will come back, the dirt will come back, the hunger will come back, the bills will come again, the clothes will wear out, that thing will break.

Which war is harder, I wonder?  They are both necessary. 

But, it takes a very courageous person to carry on knowing it is a doomed mission.  It will never be finished.

But, perhaps that is the glory of it? 

The challenges are necessary to life, like gravity.

To win the war, we have to win the daily battle in Bedford Falls. 

(I’m just noticing how fitting that town name is.  Here is where we sleep.  Here is where we fall down.  Here is where we help each other keep getting up again.)

dsh

Balance

English: Circus tent A circus visits Pittencri...

English: Circus tent A circus visits Pittencrieff Park nearly every year. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

My life has been a circus tent.

I’m learning how to juggle.

I set up a great big show.

No crowd could burst my bubble.

I’d spin a plate.  I’d throw a ball.

I’d run about, AMAZE!

I had the happy crowd abuzz

with each new feat

on stage.

But, it got harder

and harder to impress.

So many balls and plates

an inevitable mess.

Until balance seemed an impossible circus trick,

and I needed a real-life balancing act.

So, I asked the Ring-leader how it could all be done

and He a-light and full of fun

surprisingly replied,

“just spin one plate.”

© 2007 DarEll S. Hoskisson

VICTORY

Mountain Climber type of guy

Mountain Climber type of guy (Photo credit: HikingArtist.com)

Flying across the finish line,
Floating into tomorrow,
I wonder if my feet will ever
touch the ground again.

How are you?
I’m awesome.
I feel fabulous.
I wish I could share.

It tastes so good,
no one could resist
going after some more.
At least I can’t.

I wish I could give it away,
but I can’t.
This fab fountain erupts
from the inside out.

Hard work, skinned knees,
talking back to
discouragement and,
persevering are SO worth it.

A guttural scream of happiness
escapes me as I reach
for the sky.
EEEEEEEEEEEEAYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!

Gimme some more.
I love to learn.
Love to earn.
Oooh, VICTORY
feels so good on me!

© 2013 DarEll S. Hoskisson